"At the end of the day, I’d rather be hated for something I am, than loved for being something I’m not."

“Charlotte and Gaz are having another f**king argument about one of them pulling. In other shocking news water is wet.”

"There’s no ‘I’ in Team, but there is a ‘U’ in C**t."

"Has Gary got a chocolate cock that I don’t know about? Some sort of battenburg bellend?"

"Charlotte mate, Santa Claus isn’t real. Chocolate makes you fat. Fish can only live in water. Gary will f**king pull anybody else if he can. Wise up, mate."

"I’m me and you’re meant to love me for me."

"I’m never the type of person that cries over an argument, I’m more likely to just raise my f**king voice louder than the person I’m arguing with."